


say you're happy now, once more with feeling

by zombiejuju



Series: Sexy September [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Background Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, College AU, F/M, Fluff, Jalec Sexy September, Jealousy, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Quickies, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Soulmates AU, Vaginal Sex, mundane AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 09:36:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12208611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiejuju/pseuds/zombiejuju
Summary: Jace grabs a shirt off his dresser and goes to pull it on but Alec grasps the hem, stopping him, “Is that...a soulmate mark?”Jace steps back as Alec lets go of the fabric and it falls, obscuring the black symbol from view.“Why didn’t you just tell me?”“I…” Jace starts but nothing comes out, lips opening and closing in repeat.





	say you're happy now, once more with feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Alec is always wise beyond his years. Title is from "What You Feel - Reprise" from that musical episode of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ (s06e07: "Once More, With Feeling").
> 
> Warnings: There's always some emotional, angsty shit happening in my work, it's mature for Jaia (not Jalec), lots of alcohol, sexist language probably, Malec breaks up, and (spoiler?) there's double soulmate action.
> 
> Prompted by [Jalec Sexy September : Week 4 - Soulmates.](https://jalec-net.tumblr.com/post/164406907655/sexy-september-jalec-challenge)

It blooms on the right side of his ribcage, right below his chest, one day after a painful and dull Statistics class. He’s waiting for Alec to finish his European History class so they can drive back to their dorm together. Leaning against the passenger side of his black Mustang, his hands are buried in the pockets of his leather jacket. He has cigarette perched, precarious, between his lips.

His calm demeanor drops the moment he sees Alec’s lanky form exit a building, small smile brightening up Jace’s face and carrying light to his eyes. He recomposes himself and waves Alec over with his free hand, flicking the cigarette onto the ground with the other. He rubs his boot over the cherry to extinguish it and looks back up, expecting Alec to be within hugging distance by now, but he’s not. Jace frowns, looking around for a few seconds, before he sees that Alec is still near campus. He’s talking to some guy a few inches shorter than him.

“Hey, Alec. C’mon,” Jace hollers. Alec’s head snaps toward the parking lot, eyes locking with Jace’s for just a moment.

“Just gimme a second,” Alec says, gaze turning back to the mysterious man he’s chatting with.

Jace’s eyebrows furrow. Alec’s slouching, one backpack strap slung over his lean shoulders, hands fiddling with the zipper on his jacket. His hazel eyes are translucent in the sunlight and his lips are pulled back to expose his top row of teeth. He licks his soft, plump bottom lip. The mystery man says something and Alec throws his head back in delightful, loud laughter. And that’s when Jace realizes it, piercing blue-brown eyes moving to glare holes into the back of this guy’s head: this fucking asshole is flirting with Alec, _his_ Alec.

Pain explodes in Jace’s ribcage, like being stabbed by a thousand pins all at once right on bone. He clutches at it in vain, screaming obscenities. His legs buckle and he collapses to the ground, knee crushing the cigarette he disposed of earlier. He’s preparing himself to pass out from the pain when Alec rushes over to his side, hoisting him up by the arm and leaning him against his Mustang.

“What the hell was that?” Alec asks the moment Jace stops screaming.

“Acid reflux,” Jace says. He keeps his eyes focused on the ground, expression masked from Alec’s prying, concerned gaze.

“Acid reflux?”

“Yup, really bad,” Jace nods, “Better get home and drink some milk.”

“Al...right,” Alec says. He reaches into Jace’s pocket and grabs his keys, “But I’m driving. Can’t let you crash the car and kill us because you ate too much greasy pizza.”

* * *

The moment they’re back at their dorm, Jace cuts in front of Alec and rushes passed Izzy without so much as a greeting. She shoots Alec a quizzical look and he shrugs back at her. Eyebrows raising in worry, she chases after Jace, breaking into his room without knocking.

“Get out,” Jace hisses.

Izzy shuts the door behind herself and takes a moment to look at him. He’s standing in front of his mirror, shirt off, glaring at his own reflection. Her vision roves over his torso until she finds what he must be so angry about: a mark made of black ink, right below his chest, standing out like a tattoo against his golden skin.

“Is that...a soulmate mark?” Izzy asks. She pauses, shock wearing off, and chuckles, “Who made _you_ jealous?”

“Herondales don’t get jealous, Iz.”

“What’s that mark then? ‘Jealousy breeds soulmate marks’, remember? Mom has literally been saying that to us our whole lives.”

“It’s a new tattoo.”

“Oh, so then you won’t mind if I take a closer look,” Izzy steps further into the room. Jace turns his back and, in a panic, searches the floor for his shirt. She laughs, “Who made you jealous?”

He turns back around, torso still exposed, attention focused on something just beyond her head, “Alec.”

Izzy’s eyes widen. She looks down at the mark, a king’s crown with ivy and roses creeping over it. She gasps, “Alec?”

“Keep your voice down, Iz.”

“Sorry, but, seriously? Alec?” She asks, quieter this time. He nods, “Who? What? Where? When? Why? How?”

“Are we in a first grade classroom right now?” Jace tosses back, sarcasm swelling in his tone. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I was waiting for him by my car.  Some guy was flirting with him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground.”

“I love that your mark is literally the result of me constantly telling Alec, ‘Heavy is the head that wears the crown.’”

Jace rolls his eyes at her, “Yes. Even when it’s _not_ about you, it is.”

* * *

It’s a crisp September night when Jace properly meets Alec’s mystery man. He’s standing outside the Hunter’s Moon with Alec and Izzy, one hand seeking warmth in the pocket of his leather jacket and the other clasping a cigarette between his index finger and thumb. He brings it up to his lips for a hit.

“Jace, it’s freezing out here,” Izzy breaks the silence, shivering for good measure when he rolls his head to the side to look at her, “Can we go inside yet?”

“Don’t blame the smoker,” Jace says, head tilting toward Alec, “We’re waiting for _someone_.”

And as if waiting for his cue, Alec’s _someone_ walks over to them. He’s about Jace’s height, dark hair, dark eyes, skin like muted gold. Jace doesn’t care to look at him any longer, doesn’t want to find out why Alec likes this guy.

The guy pulls Alec in for a hug and Jace responds by dropping his cigarette near the mystery man’s boot and glaring at the ground with dark pessimism, like it’s the concrete’s fault this guy exists and Alec likes him.

“Izzy, Jace,” Alec says the moment he frees himself from the mystery man’s embrace. He points to Izzy and Jace respectively and turns to them, thumb jutting toward his mystery man, “Magnus.”

_Magnus_ , charming and polite, grabs Izzy’s hand and kisses the back of it. He lets go of her hand and turns to Jace. He extends his hand but Jace snubs him, folding his arms across his chest and rolling his eyes.

“Don’t worry about him,” Alec apologizes, “He’s a moody artist type.”

“A musician, right?” Magnus asks but Jace pretends not to hear him. He laughs, “Must be.”

Jace grabs Izzy’s elbow and stalks into the bar, dragging her along with him. Alec and Magnus follow them in, Alec’s face wrinkled in confusion as he takes a seat beside Jace at the bar. He glances around for a moment, trying to locate Izzy, and sighs when he finds her flirting with some redhead who looks like she lives at Coachella.

“Why are you being like this?” Alec whispers to Jace when he turns his body back toward the bartop. He grimaces as Jace shoots back a jägerbomb like it’s nothing.

“Like what?”

“An asshole. Why are you being an asshole?”

“Magnus,” Jace says, spinning his barstool toward Magnus too fast. He wobbles for a second but regains his balance, “How old are you? What’s your major? How did you meet our _beloved_ Alec?”

“Don’t interrogate him, Jace.”

“It’s fine, Alexander,” Magnus purrs his name, placing a hand on his shoulder. He giggles and Jace’s face twists in bitter disgust, “27. Master’s in Fashion. Class: Sexuality and Gender.”

“Huh,” Jace grinds his bottom lip between his teeth before tapping on the countertop with the palm of his hand. A beautiful woman with dark skin and an afro of bouncy curls saunters over to refill his glass. An arrogant smirk spreads across his face and his voice drops an octave, “Hello there, Maia.”

“It was good, Jace, but it’s not happening again,” She responds without malice, turning away to assist other patrons.

“Rejected,” Izzy laughs from behind him. She plops onto the stool to his left and tilts her head toward the woodland fairy with flaming locks, “Guys, this is Clary. I’m going to her place. If you need me, don’t.”

Clary blushes but takes Izzy’s hand when it’s offered, following her out onto the street.

“Looks like everyone’s getting some tonight but you,” Maia teases, smile shining in her brown eyes.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” Jace smirks, knocking back his shot, “The night is still young and all that.”

Jace finds a way to his will, and Maia turns out to be wrong about both her predictions: he is getting laid tonight and she is fucking him again. He laughs, breathless, when they’re done, zipping his fly and buttoning his pants back up.  Maia readjusts her skirt and pulls her top back up.

“What, pretty boy?”

“What was that you said earlier?” He asks, giving her a smug smile.

“You looked so sad and pathetic, I thought I better throw you a bone.”

Jace hums at her in playful disbelief, but his smile caves in the moment she turns her back to him.

* * *

“Are you gonna stop being an asshole now?” Alec asks first thing in the morning. Jace groans, rolling away from the harsh sunlight, and rubs sleep from his eyes, “He answered all your questions.”

“I’m hungover, Alec,” Jace says. He lays his hand over his eyes to shield them from the light, “Can’t we do this later?”

“What’s _this_ , exactly?”

“Nag me later, mom.”

“I’m not nagging! He didn’t do anything to you. He was even nice while you were being a tool.”

“Don’t you think it’s odd for a graduate student to take interest in a freshman?” Jace asks. He flinches at his own words, at the implication that such a guy couldn’t possibly be interested in Alec, and corrects himself, “For _any_ grad student to really give a shit about _any_ undergrad?”

“No, I don’t. We click,” Alec defends, eyebrows furrowing.

“Yeah...how long have you two been seeing each other? How long before you let me and Izzy know?”

“Is that what this is about? I’m not keeping secrets. That day you saw us, that was our first time talking.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jace acquiesces before something cruel and cold takes over, “Did you fuck him already?”

“That’s none of your fucking business,” Alec exclaims. He pauses to recollect himself, “No. Is that really what you think of me?”

“I think he’s the first guy that’s shown an interest in you,” Jace says, dropping his hand from his face so he can look at Alec, “And he’s pretty.”

“So what, I’m just gonna run off and sleep with him?”

“So, I think he’s taking advantage of you. Of how...inexperienced you are,” Jace says. He sits up in bed, back leaning heavy against the headboard for support, groan heaving deep in his chest as the room spins.

“Ah, yes, because it’s so impossible that he actually likes me. He’s out of my league and pretty and smart and creative and talented? And what, I don’t deserve someone like that?”

“No, you deserve someone _like_ that. Just not him. He doesn’t deserve you. No guy does.”

“So that’s what this is about? The fact that he’s a guy?”

“Absolutely not,” Jace says. He stands up and throws a pair of sweats on.

“I thought you’d be happy for me. I never thought that after all this time, you’d disapprove of him just because he’s a guy.”

Jace rolls his eyes and scoffs. His chest tenses, hands ball into fists, scornful expression planting itself on his face. The room freezes over, or maybe it heats up, Jace isn’t sure. But _something_ shifts. His voice raises with each word, “Nobody is good enough for you. Guy, girl. I don’t give a shit. _Nobody_ is good enough for you.”

Jace grabs a shirt off his dresser and goes to pull it on but Alec grasps the hem, stopping him, “Is that...a soulmate mark?”

Jace steps back as Alec lets go of the fabric and it falls, obscuring the black symbol from view.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I…” Jace starts but nothing comes out, lips opening and closing in repeat.

“That’s why you’re being so nasty to Magnus,” Alec realizes, making Jace’s breath hitch, “I heard those marks can make people irritable until their love is reciprocated but you know, I’ve never seen it before because you’re the first one of us to figure out who your soulmate is. Congrats, by the way.”

Alec pulls him in for a crushing hug. Jace breathes him in shaky, unshed tears burning at his eyes and a lump of bitterness growing in his throat. He’s not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed that Alec didn’t figure out _who_ the mark represents, who he _belongs_ to.

“So, who?” Alec asks, tugging himself out of Jace’s arms.

“Maia,” Jace says. His brain supplies her name easy, quick. After all, she’s who he’s been chasing on pretty much a regular basis for the past couple of months.

“Of course,” Alec replies, “Well, just tell her, man. There’s no reason to brood around and ruin everyone else’s chances at happiness.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jace whispers, hand carding through his messy hair, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s already forgotten.”

* * *

“Fuck,” Jace mumbles as Magnus passes him to take shotgun next to Alec.

Alec smiles at Magnus, eyes bright and just a little wide in surprise, before joining their hands and kissing Magnus’ knuckles. Jace grits his teeth and rolls his eyes as he gets in the seat behind Alec’s. He buckles up and rests his head on the window, glaring out of it. Izzy and Clary are already in the backseat and Jace jumps and snaps his head to his right when the door on the passenger side slides open.

Maia hoists herself into the car, yanks the door shut, and smiles at him while she buckles up. He returns her smile and, sensing someone staring at him, looks up at the rear view mirror. He locks eyes with a pleased, omniscient Alec. His face drops into something stony, the tiniest hint of a scowl playing at the corners of his lips, and he returns to staring out the window. Alec’s face scrunches up in confusion but he just shakes it off, turning the ignition and starting their trip.

There’s three tents, of course there is, because Izzy planned this to be a romantic getaway. She’s saddled herself up with Clary, and Alec and Magnus are together of course, which leaves him with Maia. That wouldn’t be so bad outside of these particular circumstances: Maia is a great girl and an even better lay.

He’s lost in thought, trying to fall asleep, when he hears it. Alec’s muffled groan, a tent rustling, sleeping bags being unzipped, Izzy yelling at them to ‘fucking be quiet’ because ‘we all know what you’re doing but that doesn’t mean we should have to hear it’ and ‘you’re seriously killing the mood for Clary and me’.

“Gross,” Maia laughs.

Jace opens his eyes, trying to make out her figure in the dark. She’s facing him, looking at him. She’s still outside of her sleeping bag, just in a baggy t-shirt and underwear. He inches closer and slots his lips over hers, one hand engulfing itself in her curls and the other drifting from her knee to between her thighs. She hums and rolls onto her back, pulling him half on top of her.

“Are you guys like spiritually connected?” Maia asks in a whisper as Jace shifts to kiss and nip at her neck. Hands gripping the sides of her panties and tugging them out of his way, he slides right into her. She grunts, “He fucks, you gotta too?”

Jace ignores her, opting to tuck his face against her neck and suck at her pulse point instead. Somewhere below blood roaring in his ears, he can hear Alec’s moans, can feel the pleasure building at the base of his spine, coiling white hot in his abdomen. But he can’t have him, so he buries himself in Maia instead.

* * *

“You guys were so loud last night,” Clary giggles, eyes bright. Embarrassment flushes the tips of her ears and the sliver of exposed skin on her chest.

“We weren’t the only ones,” Magnus looks at Jace and Maia with the same knowing glance that Alec gave them yesterday. Jace isn’t even looking at his friends, too preoccupied with drawing patterns in the dirt near their campfire with a stick.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asks, bumping Jace’s knee with his own, “Usually we can’t get you to shut up about your conquests.”

Maia’s gaze turns sharp, “I am _not_ a conquest.”

“I know,” Alec says, “Did you get a good look at his chest last night?”

“No?”

“Big brother,” Izzy hisses, hand resting on Clary’s knee, “Not your place to tell.”

“Yeah, okay. Sorry, yeah,” Alec starts. He turns to Magnus, shivering, “Hey, babe, I’m cold.”

“Sorry, Alexander. I don’t have another jacket.”

“Condoms are not the only thing you should’ve come prepared with,” Izzy jokes, earning a look of disgust and disappointment from Alec. She laughs and turns all knowing eyes on Jace.

Jace scowls, trying to ignore everyone else, attention fixed on the flames splintering the wood. Alec’s shaking form in the corner of his eye is hard to ignore. He turns to Alec, the fire’s glow giving his angry expression a sinister edge. He sees hickeys over Alec’s jaw line, his neck, on the ends of his exposed collarbones. Glare deepening, he unzips his jacket and slides it off.

“Take it,” Jace thrusts his jacket at him, “I’m heading back to my tent anyway.”

“It’s okay. I’m good.”

“Fucking take the jacket, Alec,” He tosses it onto Alec’s lap, waits to make sure he slides it on, and turns to walk away, “At least someone gives a shit.”

Maia follows him to their tent. She crawls in, zipping the mock door behind herself, “So. Alec is your soulmate.”

“I just love that it’s obvious to everyone but Alec and Magnus,” Jace huffs, kicking his jeans off. He wiggles into his sleeping bag.

“Oh, no, I guarantee that Magnus knows. There’s something...possessive about the way he dangles his relationship with Alec in front of you,” Maia says. She takes off her top and pants, tugging the same baggy shirt from last night over her small frame. She gets into her own sleeping bag, but leaves a hand out. Jace grasps it in his own.

“Good to know I’m not crazy,” Jace says, lacing their fingers together and moving onto his back. He bends his arm, holding the back of his neck with his free palm.

“I mean, you are. He’s your soulmate, after all. But no. Magnus _is_ being a jerk.”

Jace hums, eyes drifting shut.

* * *

“Warmer than 80 in October, I just can’t believe it,” Izzy buzzes with excitement, fixing the string on her bikini top. She wraps her arms around Clary’s stomach and picks her up, carrying her to the water.

“Stop, no,” Clary cries, smacking at Izzy’s shoulder. She’s giggling, red wavy locks tossing around, “God, why are you so strong?!”

Izzy drops Clary into the water and shrugs, “Just #blessed, I guess.”

Jace grins at them, watching as Maia wades into the water too. She turns to him, all but her head submerged. He can feel her gaze beckoning him off the shore. He holds his finger up, signalling for her to give him a minute. After all, he’s still got his shirt and shoes on. He drops onto the blanket Magnus just dropped on the sand and toes his shoes off.

“Want to tell me what the hell last night was about?” Alec asks, sitting next to Jace.

“Uh?”

“The jacket thing. Calling Magnus out like that,” Alec glances at him, hits his shoulder against Jace’s. Jace shrugs and Alec sighs, “You have Maia now. Why are still being an asshole?”

“What kind of boyfriend doesn’t offer you his jacket when you’re cold?” Jace asks. He stands, grabs the bottom of his shirt, and yanks it over his head.

“What about Maia makes her mark a crown with flowers?” Alec asks. Jace’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, nose scrunching up. He follows Alec’s gaze, and, _oh_ , his soulmate mark is exposed.

“We are _not_ talking about this,” Jace replies, turning to walk toward the shoreline. Alec stands and stills Jace by holding his bicep. Jace tries to shake him off but Alec tightens his grip, “Let me go.”

“What about Maia makes her mark a crown with flowers?”

“I don’t know. That’s just how the mark happened, okay?”

“How did you even know it was her then?”

“Uh, I don’t know, because of the intense painful jealousy stabbing my soul when it was created?” Jace asks, sarcastic, and frees his arm from Alec’s hold.

“‘Heavy is the head that wears the crown’,” Alec says to Jace’s retreating back. Jace halts, shoulders squaring, “You lied to me. That’s what happened in the parking lot? You’re jealous of me and Magnus?”

“No,” Jace says. He stalks into the water and when he’s hip deep, dives under, popping up fast. He chuckles, “Holy shit that’s fucking cold. How are you guys still in here?”

He frowns when he realizes nobody is having fun. They’re just staring at him in pity. He looks at Maia and she offers him a small, reassuring smile. Izzy gazes at him with bright, compassionate eyes. Magnus’ chin is raised in defiant displeasure and Clary, Clary’s just shocked. Jace chances a glance at the shoreline. Alec’s gone.

“Don’t worry,” Izzy says, “I’ll go talk to him.”

* * *

“I’m sorry for earlier,” Jace sits up as he hears the zipper on his tent moving, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“You didn’t,” Alec says, ducking inside and zipping the door up behind himself, “But I have a feeling that apology wasn’t for me.”

“No, it was for Maia. But the same can be said to you.”

“You don’t have to apologize for  _ that _ . I was the one that kept pushing in front of everyone.”

“But I owe you an apology for…?”

“Lying to me, your BFF and apparent love of your life,” Alec jokes, coming to kneel beside him. Jace’s face sours, “Alright, not funny. Got it.”

“I  _ am _ sorry for lying, but what was I supposed to say? I wanted to avoid all of  _ this _ ,” Jace says, hands gesturing between them.

“All what?”

“The awkwardness.”

“What awkwardness?” Alec asks. Jace glances at him, expression softening. A smile graces his features, eyes full of adoration as they gaze into Alec’s. Alec turns and sits beside Jace, palms on the floor, legs stretched out in front of him. He bumps his shoulder against Jace’s and moves his hand closer, until their pinkies are grazing each other, “I don’t mind your crush. In fact, I welcome it. I encourage it.”

Jace scoffs, “If you wanted that, you would’ve had a mark first and you would’ve known what happened when I fell in the parking lot.”

“I didn’t get jealous because I’ve always been so sure that the chances of us happening were slim to none. Never thought  _ this _ was possible. Can’t get possessive over something that isn’t yours.”

“Pretty sure that’s exactly how the marks work.”

“You amaze me,” Alec says. He rolls his eyes and moves to straddle Jace’s lap, cupping his jaw, “It’s like you go deaf every time I say, ‘I like you too.’”

“It can’t be that easy.”

“Oh, but it is,” Alec whispers, pressing his lips to Jace’s gentle, fast, chaste. Jace’s eyes slip closed and his lips part anyway.

“And Magnus?” He asks, opening his eyes to look at Alec.

“Stormed off the first chance he got. Sent me a break up text about half an hour ago.”

“Told you he didn’t deserve you.”

Alec hums in agreement and moves off of Jace’s lap, laying on top of Maia’s sleeping bag. Jace curls up to his side, arm thrown across Alec’s chest. He watches Alec drawn intricate patterns over his wrist with his fingertip. In the dark, he catches a glimpse of something black etched onto his wrist. He squints, then laughs.

“ _ Shit _ . Is that a full moon on my wrist?”


End file.
